Parenting Through a Pandemic

This excerpt was previously published in the Winter 2020-2021 Issue of AmeriSchools Perspectives Magazine:


Gandhi for quote in AmeriSchools Magazine

“Every Home is a University, and the Parents are the Teachers.”

– Mahatma Gandhi

 

 

 

 


We proudly salute our amazing parents who demonstrate not just surviving but thriving under unprecedented conditions

The Priorities and Promises of AmeriSchools Parents

As parents, we love, guide, discipline, and hope for the best for our children. This is not a part-time position, at least not for the first two decades. Even after our children “grow up,” they will always be our children, and we will always be their parents. Through good times and bad, it is who we are. The just concluded year of 2020, the year of COVID-19, will be remembered differently by everyone according to its effect upon them. But it is a safe bet to assume that no one will classify it as a typical year. The crisis of the coronavirus is two-fold: (1) the direct effect of the virus upon thousands (afflicted and family members of afflicted alike), (2) the indirect effect of the virus through governmental response, and its ensuing effect upon the public. This second aspect of the crisis has been especially felt in the area of our children’s education. To complement our last issue’s report on the AmeriSchools response to the pandemic’s effect on education, we now present the results of a survey of our amazing parents. We gratefully acknowledge the generous contributions of our parents and their willingness to share a “slice of their lives” from this past year. This revealing and informative feedback is presented through a dual lens: (1) the priorities we have for our children’s education, which in turn are based upon, (2) the promises we make to our children (and ourselves).

Parental Priorities – Put First Things First

Numerous educational priorities were mentioned by AmeriSchools parents: safety for their children, maintaining the learning process, effective communication with the teachers and school, building social skills, maintaining support for special needs, keeping grades up, and the ability to receive support from the school when problems develop. Data was collected through parental narrative responses—we heard their stories as they told them. This resulted in primarily qualitative data; we have no colorful charts containing numeric comparisons to display. In one sense, responses seemed to vary—each family represents a unique combination of children with educational needs and the parental championing of those needs. Parents representing one family in our survey were concerned with balancing their efforts between the diverse needs of multiple children during the pandemic-required virtual learning experience. Remote support from the school for their special-needs student was a primary priority for other parents. Preserving discipline and a regular daily routine for their children became a major focus for yet another family. Without careful consideration, one could think that the pandemic crisis has generated the seeming chaos and confusion of these varied and divergent parental priorities. But upon more careful examination, for many, the only thing that has really changed is the means of instruction, from face-to-face to virtual or hybrid. The end goals that those means serve have not waivered. Individual parents will always interpret their children’s educational needs a bit differently, whether in the midst of a crisis or not. But if you look beneath these seemingly broad and varied parental priorities a common thread does begin to emerge. We should explore the underlying reason that parents have the priorities in the first place: the promises they have made.

Parental Promises – Not Just Made with Words, but Kept with Action

As parents, we are promise makers to our children: • “I’ll always be here for you.” • “I’ll protect you.” • “My job is to take care of you.” • “Don’t be afraid; I’m here.” • “I’m your mother/father; I may not always like what you do, but I’ll always love you.” Sometimes these promises are just spoken, but sometimes they are demonstrated, with action. The AmeriSchools parents sur- “With AmeriSchools, you’re getting the ‘private school feeling’ without the private school costs!” – Monica San Ramon, Yuma My oldest daughter started at AmeriSchools in the 6th grade, and went from being a D student to an A student practically overnight. Before that, she couldn’t even read. And then she went on to win the Principal’s Award in high school. She was also the first in our family to go to college. My son started in kindergarten, and is now in 5th grade, and just loving it! 9 veyed are not only promise makers, but promise keepers. This process, keeping promises, begins with setting priorities (goals) and then following these up with action. So, what actions have our promise keeping parents taken; actions necessitated by the expanded parental role required by the pandemic response? Here are just a few answers to that question:

• Daily planning and organizing of children’s academic and non-academic schedule • Monitoring online student’s scheduling and activity

• Being a supplemental teacher/tutor for their children during home online instruction and while children are engaged in homework sessions

• Ensuring a sense of safety and security for their children in the face of uncertainty, negative news, and fearfulness

• Balancing their role as the breadwinner for their family with the extra duties required to maintain their children’s educational and emotional wellbeing

• Helping their children successfully utilize technology required by newly implemented modes of instruction

The actions listed above reflect the heightened sense of responsibility these parents have, related to assisting their children in a home learning environment and communicating/advocating for their children at a higher level due to the shift to online and hybrid instruction. Also, we should remember that these actions are in addition to normal parental duties (providing parental love and guidance, food, shelter, ensuring health and safety). While sharing their long list of action items necessitated by the past year of pandemic response, the parents surveyed were unanimous in their praise of AmeriSchools’ performance throughout the entire pandemic period: how they communicated with parents, how they adapted to the online educational environment, and how they continued to demonstrate that the AmeriSchools educational experience took the form of an “extended educational family.”

What AmeriSchools Parents Can Teach Us – Passion and Perseverance

These AmeriSchools parents have shown us that when you decide to be a promise keeper and not just a promise maker to your children, you are inspired by passion. But keeping your level of passion consistently high with perseverance— a recent challenge for many—is the key to successful promise-keeping. The Huffington Post* wrapped up the year 2020 by recommending four resolutions to adopt for the legions of parents who want to revitalize their perseverance muscle: (1) deep breathing three times per day, (2) increasing the amount of high-quality time spent with our children, (3) increasing our daily sleeping/resting time, (4) increasing the amount of daily time you spend genuinely connecting with individuals (face-to-face or virtually). Passion and perseverance, according to University of Pennsylvania professor of psychology, Angela Duckworth,** form the foundation of grit, that powerful quality of the truly successful—even more important than knowledge and intelligence. Duckworth believes that gritty parents raise gritty kids, not through what is said, but through the example of who they are. “The slice of life” generously shared by many of our AmeriSchools parents tells an important story, not of the year that was, but of the people who are. Change happens, events occur, but we do a disservice to ourselves if we focus only on the uncontrollable versus the response, action, and progress manifested by the people—parents, teachers, staff, and students—engaged in the process of our children’s education. This partnership of people, to quote many of the AmeriSchools parents surveyed, is their educational family. As the ongoing pandemic demonstrates, sadness, grief, loss, and struggle are not always unavoidable. However, these challenges to the human spirit can be springboards to a rededication and refocusing of our efforts to live truly good human lives, as individuals and parents. As the results of our AmeriSchools parent survey reveal, we can overcome hardship, especially for our children’s sake. We must take inspiration from the examples shared by our amazing parents who demonstrate not just surviving but thriving under unprecedented conditions. By following their lead, we can make 2021 a year of renewed dedication to the purpose for which our families operate, for the benefit of our most valuable and precious resource: our kids. ❤


*Huffington Post, “2020 Was Relentless for Parents. In 2021, It’s Time to Put Ourselves First.” huffpost.com, Catherine Pearson, 12/30/2020 05:45 am EST **Duckworth, Angela. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. United States: Scribner, 2016.

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